?

Log in

No account? Create an account
The Grumpy Old Man
markm
.:.::. .:.:..:.

August 2015
            1
2 3 4 5 6 7 8
9 10 11 12 13 14 15
16 17 18 19 20 21 22
23 24 25 26 27 28 29
30 31

The Grumpy Old Man [userpic]
Language and evolution

According to some people at Harvard, irregular past tense forms will slowly become regular. This will make the following paragraph hilariously silly in 10,000 years' time. Hey, I get my jokes where I can, even if it's from the future.


I awoke this morning, stood up, and swore as I trod on a toy that my daughter left on the floor. I thought she understood when I told her yesterday that she was to clean up when she was done. After I got ready for work, the phone rang. It was my boss, who said the server kept crashing. I knew what was wrong, so said I'd be in as soon as possible, and hung up. I ate a quick breakfast and drove into work. The IT guy had left instructions on performing a clean restart, but tore them as he put them in the lab notebook, so the last few steps were missing. I went through all the steps that were on the sheet, and then made up the rest, finally getting the server back up and running. I then wrote an angry email to the IT guy, informing him of the time lost as a result. He wrote back with a virtual shrug, saying "Sometimes these things can't be holp."


Translation for the future: I waked this morning, standed up, and sweared as I treaded on a toy that my daughter leaved on the floor. I thinked she understanded when I telled her yesterday that she beed to clean up when she beed done. After I getted ready for work, the phone ringed. It beed my boss, who sayed the server keeped crashing. I knowed what beed wrong, so sayed I'd be in as soon as possible, and hanged up. I eated a quick breakfast and drived into work. The IT guy haved leaved instructions on performing a clean restart, but teared them as he putted them in the lab notebook, so the last few steps beed missing. I goed through all the steps that beed on the sheet, and then maked up the rest, finally getting the server back up and running. I then writed an angry email to the IT guy, informing him of the time losed as a result. He writed back with a virtual shrug, saying "Sometimes these things can't be helped."

Comments

I suspect "awake" as a verb will disappear an it'll just be "waked".

"treaded", unless you're postulating spelling reforms at the same time.

Shouldn't it be "haved leaved"?

OK, I fixed awaked->waked and tredded->treaded. It would only be "haved leaved" if the original was "had left", though, so I leaved that lone.

Umm, it is. "The IT guy had left instructions".

Oh, oops, I was looking at the first sentence.

Fixed.

I note the article doesn't mention the (much smaller) number of verbs that have acquired irregular past tense forms from having previously been entirely regular: dove, snuck, for example. (Yes, Americanisms, but they're infiltrating British usage as well.) drug is probably next up for acquiring respectability.

I definitely use 'snuck', although I see that firefox's spellcheck flags it. Dove vs. dived is a 50/50 past tense: it depends on which one my brain picks as the word is being generated through my vocal system. 'Drug' for 'dragged' is not even a distant runner-up for me. Maybe it's a Southern word?

Um. Ew.

Hey, that's the way Dante talks now. He's 10,000 years ahead of his time! I'm still not letting him drive the car, though.

(My favorite current example of this: "Daddy eated a beer.")